Hello and thank you for taking the time to visit my site. My name is Sarah and I would say that I generally fall into the category of being a crossdresser. However, that term is a little to basic to capture who I am and the conflict that has raged within me most of my life. Daily, I am a professional in the public safety world and have spent my entire adult life dealing with people in some of the worst possible situations. I have always felt a deep connection to my feminine side and tend to gravitate to friendships with women more so than men. Somehow, I just feel a deeper connection with women both genetic and transgender.
I began dressing in women's clothing as a preteen and never understood why. Over the years, I suppressed those feelings then indulged them ultimately falling into the vicious yet typical binge and purge cycle of a crossdressing. Over the years, I had times in which I was deeply committed to stopping what I viewed as, at best, abnormal behavior. Over the past 10 years I have begun to accept that despite decades of trying to suppress it that this is an integral and amazing part of me that contributes to my effectiveness in my work with people in crisis.
As much as I have struggled with this issue, I feel that society is still not ready or able to accept this. Too often, members of the transgender community and in particular the part time crossdresser are ridiculed, harassed or worse. There has been some degree of tolerance and limited acceptance but that is still not the norm. I am married to a wonderful lady who knows a little about this side of me but is not in a place where she can accept it. Sadly, this has led to a don't ask don't tell (DADT) type of situation. I understand her struggle and can't imagine being in her shoes. I feel that my attempts to deny this part of me have been a huge disservice to both of us.
As I've started to come to grips with who I am there are more questions than answers. I've been asked by more than one person if I'd ever consider hormone therapy and while I'm not ready to do so at the moment I cannot provide a definitive answer. 25 plus years ago I would've said that I'm going to outgrow this or at least just keep it in the closet but now I go shopping, out to dinner, attend events and do many other things that I would've never imagined doing en femme. The interesting part is that when I do these things and spend time with others that share this side there is an authentic and perpetual smile on my face. Clearly, this is very telling.
This is just the beginning of my story and as time allows I will be updating and adding to it.
